Parenting in Public

If you have children, especially young children, you are constantly training. Whether you are at the grocery store, a friend's house for a play date, or at home. I'm pretty sure that every parent has at one point realized that when they are inconsistent in training their children depending on the circumstances, the children take note. Some parents use bribes to coerce their children to behave acceptably in public or maybe some prefer hollow threats. It only takes once or twice for a child to learn that a simple wail in the checkout line will reward them with some M&Ms or that Mom isn't serious when she whispers threats in public. Many children are manipulative. And no wonder. Their parents have taught them the ropes since they were toddlers.

Why do parents give in like this to their own demise? Maybe they are too busy and just want things to go as smoothly as possible and they are willing to accept the consequences of their abdication. Maybe they think the goal of parenting is to get good behavior at any cost. Or maybe they've caved because of the comments of strangers in public or well-meaning friends.

I get so irritated by comments like, "It's okay. They are just being kids." My kids do not need any excuses for bad behavior. We are raising them to adulthood not just trying to occupy their time with distractions from responsibility. I've been amazed as a parent to hear the silly criticism that others feel free to vocalize within ear shot of the parent. Does it really bother people that the mother dressed her child in something that looks too warm or cold or uncomfortable? Why is it that a mother parenting her children as she goes about her day is such an open target for everyone with an opinion? I don't know maybe I'd be willing to listen if that stranger had all four of her children standing next to her. :) However, I find that often the commentators haven't had young children in 20+ years or ever at all.